My parents are out of town. This mostly matters because it’s their boat I use. I suppose I could ask to use it without them . . . although what would I do if something happened to it while I was borrowing it? Commit hara kiri? Enter the Witness Protection Program? Sell my kidney(s) to replace it? Besides, they took the truck and my little plastic car can’t tow a boat.

But I am itching to get on the lake! Who wants to take me? I’m not even that picky about boat brand–although a Supra would be great. Moombas are nice too, but they didn’t quite make me drool at this year’s Boat Show.

But what if you’re just thinking about buying a boat? I’d suggest you start in a Supra or Moomba rather than a cheaper, less . . . [fill-in-the-blank-yourself] brand. Why? Because every single boat owner I know has upgraded. I don’t know a single one who was happy with their first purchase for more than three years. So do yourself a favor–buy a boat you can grow into and that will have a nice resale value.

And no, they didn’t pay me to say any of that.